A Strange Tree: A Reverie

By Gaurav Chandra Tuli -

A reverie.

It was a tree before me. Silent and watching. The trunk was thick and knots of bark twirled around it. It looked like it had been held captive for years. Its long, spooky branches extended far and wide. They seemed to be contorting in the air, trying to catch something but weren’t able to. They were trying to hold something that escaped from their gnawing clutches before they could even feel it completely. It, or the mysterious ‘they’ slipped out of reach too quick. A lost opportunity. I felt soft grass underneath. But it occasionally irritated me because I could feel it move. The grass, the saplings of life underneath danced to the wind. But without it too. And their harmless tickles felt dangerous. Like an attack. I could feel ants dot over the skin of my feet. It was uncomfortable and scary. But the feeling of life twirl to its breathing rhythms. I walked toward the tree that stood still. Almost lifeless but not fully without life. Perhaps, it had been full of life once. But something unclear had made it its lifelong captive. Its leaves were still. The world around felt windy, however. Perhaps, there were things behind me. A felt unease confirmed this. But I could not look. I could feel the stones. It seemed like the stones beneath murmured about making a significant decision. Which, basically was, which one would go first to poke me. Or nudge me to move forward. Steer me forward. I realised that the stones did not just mechanically rattle but they actually spoke. Their actions were of pushing me forward but their words meant something entirely different. Oh, I could hear them whisper and express profound discontentment at pushing me forward. They seemed to be resenting the task. But mechanically went on. The winds too pushed me in a way that made the act feel nasty. But, in their blowing, were words of bitter joy. They supported the stones in their bewildering exercise by letting me go. So that I don’t have to be a product of resented displacement again. I felt things behind me, again. But I could not look. I was like a puppet being moved around by nature’s relentless threads. But it was really strange because I felt helpless for the first time, an insignificant witness and participant to baffling forces.

It felt strange. I could see the tree clearly, its bulky trunk, uneven with the occasional rupture of the thin barks that chained around, the branches in motion, spreading out slowly, endlessly, and the leaves. Wait, they seemed to be growing bigger, bit by bit. It felt strange. I could see it clearly and with partial firmness walking toward it. Then why were those miniscule stones nudging me forward? It wasn’t encouraging, certainly, only uncomfortable. Suddenly, in the blink of my eye, the leaves had covered the tree completely. Sort of, engulfed it, such that even its not-very-eye-pleasing trunk got covered. Oh, and the stones rattled so hard, they threw me forward. The nasty winds were in joyous support. I could feel my heart’s palpitation drum all inside. It reverberated powerfully. I felt it. I heard it. And I went behind the leaves. Behind a strange foliage around a tree trunk, not above it.

I had hardened. The leaves fell. I saw the vast meadows stretch beyond sight and familiar vision. I saw another figure approaching. And behind it, innumerable others. I felt stuck. I had become the tree. The others were rushing too. To become the tree. I saw them but they didn’t. And the foliage appeared again. Beautiful darkness and the depth of green. 

But it only looked beautiful. Was it really?


Gaurav Chandra Tuli

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