The Numbness of Void: A Lyric

By Gaurav Chandra Tuli -
The Numbness of Void: A Lyric

This lyric, written in free verse, seeks to paint an image of vivid human emotion. It establishes the idea of how grief, sometimes so deep, makes grieving in itself impossible, by eroding all sentiments, leaving behind an emptiness - a void. What is felt is only numbness in the dark chasm of void. The emotion in the poem pours directly out of MY heart, as the poem is an attempt to capture my feelings when I felt 'this numbness'.

How it feels when your reputation is tarnished,
Is something only I can understand.
When you have spent years painting an extraordinary picture of yourself,
It feels heart-wrenching to see it get washed away by the water of indifferent mockery.

How it feels when you have always trusted someone dearly,
And, that someone laughs away the priceless bond,
Is something only I can understand.
Even when your heart is too dumbfounded to pump sentiments of rage,
It permits you to bear a fake smile,
Concealing the never-expected hurt.
What only remains is numbness in the vacuum of void.

How it feels when someone always admired you for your skill,
Now, claims to have admired you,
Only to have used your skill,
Used it only to polish his/her ego,
Of how clever he/she had been,
By training you and your skill,
To ensure steadfast good results.
This is something only I can understand.
Even when a sense of betrayal overpowers you,
You have no choice but to continue rendering your excellent services,
For, if not, the world and that 'someone' shall gossip behind your back,
About a great unexpected fall,
A slip from the tall ladder of dexterity.
Who will then pull you out from the trench of guilt you succumbed to?
That you couldn't sustain the mark you'd set for yourself,
At the tip of the ladder of dexterity.

How it feels when someone points at you for something you never did;
Blames you for something you couldn't even have dreamt of,
Chatters about how different you have grown, and how your supposedly previous self appealed to them more;
Is something only I can understand.
An inferiority complex envelopes your mind,
Which creates a dark mental atmosphere of low self-confidence,
A hidden daunting force seems to suck out all optimism,
And, what remains is the numbness of void, only the numbness of void.

Gaurav Chandra Tuli
 

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